The Spiraling Chains: Kowalski - Bellan Family Trees
  • Home
  • Licciardi
    • Licciardi Family Photos
    • DeRigo
  • Bellan
    • Beljan Family in Croatia
    • Benicki >
      • Zagar
  • Bodziony
    • Bodziony - Poland
    • Golonka >
      • Bawołek
    • Krupa >
      • Kołodziej
  • Kowalski
  • The Spiraling Chains

Giving Our Ancestors a Second Chance

1/16/2013

9 Comments

 
Picture
Sorrowing Old Man (Van Gogh, 1890)
Sometimes I ask myself why I devote my sparse kid-free hours to genealogy research.  I mean, I could be reading (for fun!), learning a new language, knitting cute kiddie clothes (yes, I used to knit), or even exercising (ha!).  But instead, during many naptimes I choose to sit down at the computer and search for dead people.   At first, I became interested in it for my kids' sake.  I want them to have a sense of where they came from and to know about their ancestors' lives - their traditions, successes, and struggles.  And then I found myself genuinely interested in these people's lives AND the overarching history behind their choices and decisions, which ultimately affected certain aspects of my life.

But today I was thinking: What if there is some other involuntary and invisible force driving me to continue on my quest for family history?  Whether you believe in God or some other divine power in the universe, what if someone out there wants us to learn about certain ancestors because, for lack of a better term, they got a "bum rap" during the time in which they lived?

Let's face it - life can be difficult, even in our 21st century, first-world, technology-aided lives.  I often imagine how much MORE difficult it was for our ancestors, and I'm not just talking about the lack of physical comforts that we enjoy today due to a wealthier society and advanced technology.  How did they cope with the difficulties of life psychologically and emotionally?  How did they face the seemingly be-all end-all judgments of a much more rigid and intolerant society?  There were no therapists or medications to help people through their inner struggles.  Just about the only person with whom you could speak confidentially about your deepest thoughts and fears was a priest or minister, who would either tell you to pray more or to stop feeling and acting that way because your emotions and actions were sinful.  There are individuals in all of our family trees that probably didn't live the most noble or upright lives - but is it right for us to judge them and their actions without knowing their whole stories?

Maybe that person who took his/her own life had a terrible chemical imbalance that could have been remedied with today's therapy methods and medications?  Maybe that person who ended up in jail would have had a more successful life if he hadn't been shunned his whole life for being illegitimate?  How many war veterans became hopeless alcoholics because the flashbacks were very real and all-too-frequent?  Maybe that man who hit his wife and children just had no other way to cope with anger or losses in life?  Maybe that woman who resorted to theft or prostitution would have never done so if her husband had not died or abandoned her?  Was that person emotionally dead inside because he or she had been orphaned or neglected as a child?

So maybe that's another of our jobs as family historians and genealogists - to try to understand our ancestors' imperfect lives by uncovering the circumstances into which they were thrown.  Maybe then, we can objectively give our dead family members a "second chance." It won't necessarily make their actions in life 'ok', but maybe God sympathizes with these souls and maybe that's why He pushes some of us still living to not "give up" on those of our family members who struggled through life, perhaps both externally and internally.  And, even though sorting through old documents can never give you a sense of a person's true thoughts and emotions, sometimes it can give us a sense of what they had to go through and put up with.  


9 Comments
Kenneth R Marks link
1/16/2013 03:27:42 am

This is an excellent article. I have had suicides, criminals, prostitutes and "no-good men" in my tree as well. Rather than try to ascertain the circumstances that led to this "behavior", which is often difficult or impossible to determine, I prefer to not judge them. My usual response to this is "Isn't that interesting?" Since I have never met these folks (and in most cases did not even know they existed until I started this endeavor) it is easier to take this point of view.

I am always puzzled why some researchers get embarrassed over their ancestors behavior or shortcomings. We weren't there, and as you stated, we did not know their circumstances. It is far easier IMO to be objective and non judgmental.

Thanks for writing this.

Reply
Emily Kowalski Schroeder
1/16/2013 04:16:34 am

Thank you for reading my post and for your thoughts. I knew I would find some people out there who felt as I do about this. I, too, am much quicker to judge the people in my family who I have known and who I am more emotionally-tied to, but it's much easier to be objective for people who I've never met.

Reply
Jeanie Roberts link
1/16/2013 03:47:45 am

I agree, I have come across a surprising amount of suicides, both by men and women. At first I was shocked but your right who can say what the circumstances were. I think chronic illness and pain might drive a lot of people to end it.

Reply
Emily Kowalski Schroeder
1/16/2013 04:19:17 am

Thank you for reading my post and for the comment. I agree about the chronic pain - I have suffered from a chronic vascular condition since birth and I really don't know what I would do with painkillers and my compression stocking, which I have to wear all day, every day. I was actually thinking of doing a blog post talking about how thankful I am to be living in modern times, because I really don't know what I would have done 100 years ago.

Reply
Celia Lewis link
1/16/2013 05:34:55 am

Excellent post, Emily. Looking backwards through time, we have to try to see the past through our ancestors' eyes, and that's so difficult. People accepted some things as 'normal' and we wouldn't, and as you say, there were few resources to help with many conditions and situations. I went into genealogy to try to see a larger view of my family (I had a not-so-wonderful rage-aholic mother) and the research became my open door to wonderful cousins as well as other genealogy addicts like myself. I've learned an amazing amount about life itself, about history, and about how unique every one of us truly is! Cheers on a great post, very thought-provoking.

Reply
Jana Last link
1/18/2013 05:11:32 am

I just wanted to let you know that your post is listed in today's Fab Finds post at http://janasgenealogyandfamilyhistory.blogspot.com/2013/01/follow-fridayfab-finds-for-january-18.html

Reply
Emily
1/18/2013 05:21:59 am

Thanks so much, Jana! I'm honored :-)

Reply
Yvette Hoitink link
1/18/2013 09:04:14 am

Your blog post reminds me of a history assignment we had in high school. You were supposed to write a short story of what your life would have been like if you had been born 100 years ago. Most kids wrote how they would have been farmers or laborers. I wrote that I would have died as an infant. Yes I was a strange kid! It was a fun assignment though.

Reply
Catherine Crout-Habel link
1/21/2013 01:21:14 am

Wonderful post Emily and I agree with your view whole- heartedly. It is not for us to judge the actions of our Ancestors, for who truly understands their circumstances? I've found that to abstain from "finger pointing" can open up a whole wonderful world of relationships, compassion, understanding of our forebears and so better understanding of ourselves. Have had numerous examples of this throughout my genealogical journeys :-)
Have no doubt that our "dead people" do want their stories told because, when asleep, they're often jostling to be first in line to have me tell their story. Cheeky chappies!!!...
Cheerio and many thanks, Catherine

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Emily Kowalski Schroeder

    Emily Kowalski Schroeder

    Archives

    April 2017
    March 2017
    August 2016
    July 2016
    August 2015
    July 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012


    Categories

    All
    Anniversaries
    Antoni
    Aubry
    Bellan
    Bernard
    Bernhold
    Birthdays
    Birth Records
    Blogging
    Bodziony
    Braun
    Brunswick
    Bulcher
    Catholic
    Cemeteries
    Census Schedules
    Civil War
    Conferences And Talks
    Cousins
    Death Certificates
    Decorating
    Dna
    Drees
    Editorials
    First Communion
    France
    Funeral Cards
    Galicia
    Germany
    Golonka
    Grilliot
    Heirlooms
    Holidays
    Homes
    Hut
    Immigration
    Italy
    Janning
    Kahlig
    Knob
    Kowalski
    Krupa
    Licciardi
    Magottaux/Magoto
    Mapping
    Marriage
    Military
    Obituaries
    Occupations
    Organization
    Parazzini
    Poland
    Research
    Rolfes
    Schools
    Schroeder
    Ship Manifests
    Sports
    Surnames
    Tips
    Travel
    Tumbusch
    Voisinet
    Watercutter
    Weather
    Weddings
    Wellerding
    Wilkens
    Wills
    Wimmers
    World War II
    World War II
    Yearbooks


Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.